Sunday, March 31, 2013

Wants and Needs

I've been saying for so long, I need to sit down and write, I love to write, I need to make time to write, I'll be so much happier when I find time to write, writing is so helpful, healthy, creative for me, it fills my cup, it renews and reenergizes me, and yet, the amount of time I've actually committed to it, could probably fit in a thimble. While there are lots of ways to write and I do periodically make entries in my pen and paper journal, it's been two years since I blogged on this site and I loved this blog! It helped shape my current view of my existance, it helped propel me forward from being stuck as I reacted to the events in my life to understanding how I could use intention and affirmation to create the events in my life. But, here I am taking a few minutes to write and I'm going to savor it. I'm going to indulge myself and write about nothing in particular just to remember how to get my thoughts out of my head. They are so much more interesting when they are not bumping around and bouncing off each other like siver balls in a pinball machine, clinking and clanking as one hits bonus points and another sinks into the gutter. They are hard to keep track of when they are flying around in there and out here, well they don't escape before I can figure out what they are. It's like dumping my purse out on the table so I can throw away the crap that ends up in the bottom and put the change that's loose in the bottom back in my wallet, and find the missing receipt and put the pens and lipstick back in the compartment they belong in and get it all back together, first it has to get dumped out in a big mess on the table. Here's the big mess from dumping my thoughts out on the page. I'm entranced by how much I'm enjoying listening to audiobooks. Right now I'm listening actively to two and have 2 more that I've started and come back to periodically. I'm currently listening to The Book Thief and Silver Linings Playbook. The Book Thief has the most tremendous figurative language I have ever heard or read, it's so captivating to listen to the descriptions. I was so taken by the use of language I had a hard time attending to the story at first because I was so busy thinking about and picturing the images and colors and smells as they were described. It's also a slightly peculiar book because it's narrated by Death. And as grim and morbid as that sounds, it's not. The narrative voice is very observant of human behavior and has reverence for the subject of the story, a young foster child living in Germany during Hitler's reign. If the purpose of literature is to transport you to another place and time, this book is living up to it's purpose and then some. I'm thinking about how much time I spend watching TV vs. reading or listening to books. Watching TV is effortless, mindless and for both reasons, very easy. But as much as I'm enjoying these books, which another time perhaps I'll list my recent reads, why haven't I made any attempt to listen to or read more and watch less TV. What is it that I want and need from TV? and Why? Topic Change. The joy of vacation vs. the joy of everyday life. So, right now, I am on vacation. I am sitting on a dock, on a deck of a houseboat, at a Marina outside Key West. The sun is shining and there are marvelous diamonds of light dancing across the water reflecting the magnificent sun in the sky over head. There's a breeze and it's just quite nice and pleasant. The fact that I am on vacation has played into the fact that I am feeling like I have time to write and take time for a pure pleasure activity that doesn't result in getting something done. I feel like sometimes I put off enjoying the moment and save it up for vacation. I want to find a way to have more balance when it comes to this. I want to spread out the joy and pleasure, rather than save it all up. Sure, vacation's great and it's fun to visit new places and have adventures and all that good stuff. But, the fact is, I could sit at home and give myself an hour to just do something that accomplishes nothing, rather than think the only time I can do that is when I'm on vacation. And this thread relates to the previous thought about TV vs. literature. That's a waste of time I allow myself when nothing get's accomplished and writing's not. What's up with that?