Great Reuse Idea

Today at the Farmers Market, folks from the Adirondack Green Circle were giving away free grocery tote bags made from old t-shirts. This is a genius and simple idea that anyone with a sewing machine could make. I found great directions with step-by-step photos on instructables.com. Check it out and make your reusable grocery tote; make a few extra and give them away.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"

My mother used to say that, along with many other motherly pearls of wisdom. I have been thinking about how much value there is in finding something nice to say. It can be easy at times and harder at others, and some people do challenge you to stretch your imagination. But, I think it's worth the effort. Imagine what life would be like if people could count on hearing positive, affirming messages. Think about how at Christmas we say, we wish life was like this all year long. What we are really saying is, we wish people were thoughtful, tolerant, generous, forgiving, gentle, kind, happy, light-hearted more often.

What is it that prevents us from being more Christmas like more often? Well there's the distractions of everyday life - bills, dishes, laundry, meetings, deadlines, generally too much to do in one day, no matter what that list includes. Can we be pleasant and upbeat amidst the frenzy? Sure, but it takes effort. That's why Christmas helps, it focuses our effort. It reminds us to make the effort. We could be more cheery, supportive, helpful and sparkly more often if we stopped and thought about it, decided to do it and just did it.

So much about positive thinking and behaving is driven by a level of consciousness and intention. If we are conscious of our mental attitude and focus, we can ensure that our attention is headed in a positive direction. It's when we let ourselves get weighed down by the details, that we can forget the purpose. If you want a cheery greeting in the morning, be a cheerful greeter in the morning, I promise you'll reap what you sow. If you want to get feedback on a job you worked hard on, give feedback on other's hard work.

If you see someone making an effort, even if they haven't gotten where they (or you) think they need to be, praise the effort, don't remind them that they haven't arrived. Appreciate people. Acknowledge those who help you, even if it's their job. Don't take for granted that people know how you feel, tell them. We could all use a little life applause. Give Love, however you can. Say something nice. Just do it!

I'm okay with the gray...

The following is an excerpt from a well forwarded email from my "administrative assistant", Hildred. I related to it, as I'm sure the many people forwarding it along through cyber space did.

"I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant."

One of the gifts that comes with age is the perspective to see what really matters. We learn that our appearance; good or bad, doesn't bring happiness or sadness, it's our response to our appearance that creates the joy or the pain. No matter what the circumstance, it's our response to the circumstance that drives our feelings about it. The secret many of us take a life time discovering, is that we wholly control our response, so therefore we wholly control our feelings.

That's not to say we should just tell ourselves, it's ok to be overweight, it's ok to keep being self-indulgent in some manner that's not healthy. But rather, focus on that we can choose to do something for our own good, that we have control when we choose to exercise it.

Half-full

The age old question is the glass half-full or half-empty is the essential positive thinking primer. It is a perfect example of how two completely equal and opposite truths can co-exist. How you perceive the glass does not change the contents of the glass, but it changes how you feel about the contents of the glass. If you perceive the glass as stages of emptiness, you focus on loss, disappointment, past potential diminished. You feel a negative response; you see what's not there vs. what is.

However, if you see perceive rather the stages of fullness, you focus on possibility, opportunity and have hope. Hope feels good, hope is comforting, hope is positive. The ingeniousness of this dichotomy is that both are equally "true" perspectives. There is evidence and argument to support both positions. One is not more valid than the other, but one is certainly more desirable than the other, in terms of the impact it has on how we feel.

If we want to feel better, we have to perceive better. Positive thinking people don't think positively because they only have positive experiences, but they choose to find the half-full perspective when perceiving those experiences. Positive thinking is important because it shapes our feelings. As with the glass, there is always another way to describe the same state.

The glass isn't either half-full or half-empty, it's both. As both co-exist, but we have to choose one, why not choose half-full? Why not choose that which will be affirming and encouraging? As our thinking changes, our behavior will follow. The more able we become to recognize our option of viewing a situation through a positive lens, the more able we are to recognize there are other versions of the truth that might feel better to believe, the more empowered we become to Be Positive.

Eleanor Roosevelt Quotes

I went looking for the exact wording of this quote, I knew was by Eleanor Roosevelt.

• No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I was surprised to find so many other fitting quotes, so I decided to post them here also.

I was looking for this quote because I was reflecting on language we commonly use, such as "You made me feel bad", "You make me feel like I'm not good enough". We ascribe that responsibility to someone else, when really, it's us that is making ourselves feel badly or not good enough. We have a choice, we often fail to take, which is to tell ourselves that the opinion of the other is incorrect, not important, inaccurate, faulty, insignificant, or whatever will allow us to retain a positive sense of self. We are responsible for creating our own personal security, which includes protecting ourself from the negative messages of others. Just because someone speaks or behaves negatively towards us, doesn't mean we need to accept that. The deflection of that negative message or action will allow us to stay strong, able, positive, and free to make choices that support our joy.

It surprises me how easily we give away our joy. I don't think we do it consciously, but we do it often. We get distracted by emotion, activity, distress, other people's wishes, time, money, YOU NAME IT! Joy is a choice. Joy is made. Joy can be found. Joy is ours to claim. Joy is meant to be shared. Our journey is not about making others happy (or unhappy), but about sharing the joy we have with others along the way. It's a small difference, but an enourmous one all the same. We make/find/choose our own joy, and when we choose to share it, we help others find their joy as well. We can't make them happy, but they will be more able to choose joy also when they share our joy.

So, what's your joy? What brings you peace? What causes you to want to celebrate life? Embrace it! Exclaim it! Bring it on!

• You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

• People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.

• A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.

• Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

• I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.

• It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.

• Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.

• Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

• Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

• Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.

• The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

I've decided I really like how this woman thinks (or I guess I should say, thought), so I'm going to find her autobiography and biography and learn more about her. I'll let you know what I discover.

Alana Marie Bosford 3/24/09

Proud parents Maria and Dean.

Alana in Cema's arms.

Mema and the "beba".

The most amazing first day baby smile ever!

Book Review: The Shack

The Shack by Wm. Paul Young

Perhaps by now you have already heard of or read The Shack. If not, I strongly recommend this book to everyone! It is an extraordinarily well developed novel featuring God as three characters; a black woman who loves to cook named Papa, a Middle Eastern man who builds fine furniture named Jesus and an Asian woman gardener named Sarayu, upon whose shimmering and flowing appearance one can’t directly look.

The other primary character is Mack, who is experiencing The Great Sadness following the kidnap and murder of his young daughter. God invites Mack to spend the weekend with “Him” at the shack where Mack’s daughter was murdered. Reluctant to believe God sent the invitation, or will be present at the shack when he arrives, Mack goes “just in case”.

The story explores the expression of Mack’s anger towards God and the response of God the Father/Mother, Son and Spirit. The writer has provided beautiful human language to capture the unfathomable depth of God’s love, grace, mercy and desire for our fullness through reconciliation.

The story explores the difficult question of how a loving and all powerful God “allows” bad things to happen. We begin to see how our Independence separates us from God. This is a book you could reread and reread. While told as a very accessible story, it is actually a complex theological narrative filled with insight into the relationship between the Human and the Divine.

I struggle to find words adequate to express the wisdom and beauty I found in the book. The concept of the Trinity as three unique entities, in perfect harmony with each other seeking us/ me to join their union, was very appealing. I envision a triangle, where Father/Mother, Son and Spirit are each a side of the triangle, inviting us/ me to live inside the triangle, wholly surrounded by their strength, love and peace.

I hope that you decide to read this book. I am very anxious to hear how you are affected by the story and how it transforms your understanding of God.